So there was a big fuckoff spider in my room. It hid for a while and I sat up with a can of Raid waiting for it to reappear. It reappeared. I bellowed a thunderous battle cry and smashed it with a bottle. Hard. Thirty seconds later I looked over. That tenacious fuck was not where I left it.
There's a zombie spider in my room somewhere. There's laundry on the floor.
I'm on total fucking red alert lock down here. Zombie spider.
Fetch me my shotgun and my plank with a nail in it!
Additionally, wtf is with all the spiders I'm seeing lately? It's like there's fear toxin being slipped into my tea. Suddenly I can't pick up a bucket without there being some form of arachnid underneath. FML